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August 24, 2006


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My guess is that Mr. Michael Noer has some insecurity issues:

"The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they'll meet someone they like more than you."

Here are my favorites from Mrs. Elizabeth Corcoran's response:

- "[Mr. Noer] is right that longer work hours force two-career couples to try harder to clear out blocks of family time. When we do, though, we get to enjoy a lot more. We understand each other's career jokes and frustrations. We're better sounding boards on what to do next. And at dinner parties, we actually like to be seated at the same table."

- "Take the claim that professional women are more likely to get divorced, because they're more likely to meet someone in the workforce who will be 'more attractive' than that hubby at home.

"Women have faced this kind of competition squarely for years. Say you marry your college heartthrob. Ten years later, he's working with some good-looking gals--nymphets just out of college, or the more sophisticated types who spent two years building houses in Africa before they went to Stanford Business School. What do you do? A: Stay home, whine and eat chocolate B: Take up rock climbing, read interesting books and continue to develop that interesting personality he fell in love with in the first place.

"Note to guys: Start by going to the gym. Then try some new music. Or a book. Or a movie. Keep connected to the rest of the world. You'll win--and so will your marriage."


OMG. Unbelievable. I will only hope your note to guys is a bit of sarcasm/kidding because if not then you are just as lost as the fool who wrote the article.

The reason for most cheating as described has to do with couples growing apart not because the man or woman is out of shape and/or out of touch with the world.

The whole article he wrote has a statistical basis. Couples who both work do have higher instances of cheating. Therefore no matter how stupidly he puts it. Statistically he's right. However, like I stated many months ago any statistic can be twisted just like they were in that article.

What no one wants to admit with any sense of real sincerity is that two incomes makes living comfortably easier to attain, however it makes having a family (in a literal and figurative sense) way more difficult. The fantasy of having it all is just that, a fantasy.

Jenn Totten

It can be done.


When you have all the components i.e. married with kids, and senior level or higher position making over 125K, come talk to me until then...keep dreaming.

The main reason is you can never have too much time with your kids, some days it may seem like it, but most you wish you could just be there every moment. That's why I say it's a fantasy. Yes there may be a point of balance where you feel you get enough of both but for most Americans, that will not be enough.

The only possible way I see of having it all as a creative would be to open your own agency and becoming successful right away or freelancing after winning a number of awards. I still think it may not be enough but at least you would have a lot more flexibility with the time component.


I would like to think that the point of this site is to keep dreaming.

Dreaming up unheard-of ways to balance family and career. Dreaming up solutions that a male-dominated industry never found it necessary to seek. Dreaming up advertising that speaks in a more effective voice to women. Dreaming up answers to the problems that were deemed unsolvable by our teachers, our parents, and our creative directors.

Jenn Totten

It's cool. I'm an idealist. And if that has to be shattered, I'll figure it out on my own. But yes, I will keep dreaming, thank you.

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